Break-up

I have a LOT of feelings about this particular topic right now. As some of you know, I am in the mourning stages of the break-up of a relationship that lasted for over 5 years so I’m still very much in my feels but I will do my best not to make any of this about me.

Okay, so boom, the backstory: After 3 years of a marriage that was marred by repeated rumors of infidelity (some of which were acknowledged as true) and a whole shit ton of drama, Cardi B. filed for divorce from Offset about 3 days ago. Unfortunately, her filing came on the heels of the HUGE success of her duet with Megan Thee Stallion, WAP, a song in which Cardi exclaimed in one line “I don’t cook. I don’t clean but let me tell you, I got this ring.” People being the assholes that we tend to be, seized on that line and used it as a reason to poke fun of Cardi and all but blame her for the failure of her relationship. A huge debate ensued on social media. Some argued that Cardi deserves whatever happens to her because they feel she is a bad role model and did some truly fucked up things to men in her past. While others seized on the misogyny of claiming that if a woman doesn’t cook and clean then she can’t keep a man. While scrolling through Facebook, I happened upon this commentary that expresses many of my feelings on the matter:

I know everyone has an opinion so here is mine.Y'all killing me with this Cardi B and Offset situation.She stayed…

Posted by A Woman’s Soul on Wednesday, September 16, 2020

First of all, let’s zoom out a bit. A theme that has been recurring in recent events in the United States that really bothers me is the philosophy that just because someone does something bad, they don’t deserve basic human kindness and consideration or that whatever happens to them is their own fault. This is the same line of thinking that opponents of police reform use to justify brutality and excessive force. I encourage everyone to resist this way of thinking. No matter what anyone did in the past, they still have feelings. They’re still human. John 8:7 – “Let the one among you who has never sinned throw the first stone…” It’s NOT okay to relish or celebrate someone else’s pain. Not Cardi’s. Not Offset’s. It’s not okay.

Now to address this topic specifically:

  • “I don’t cook. I don’t clean, but let me tell you I got this ring.” is a fucking verse in a song!!! We don’t know what happens in that woman’s house. She might cook and clean every day. She might have maids and chefs. we do not know. Stop acting stupid! Nevermind the fact that she’s one of the hardest working artists out there right now. Whether you like her or not, you can NOT possibly knock her hustle. Cardi B. is constantly out there trying to get to a bag. Anyone working that hard shouldn’t have to come home and cook and clean shit in my opinion but that’s beside the point.
  • Any woman who is reinforcing the idea that because Cardi said that she doesn’t cook and clean in her song, she doesn’t deserve to have a healthy relationship is especially annoying to me. What the fuck are you doing?! Y’all are the same ones who don’t bring shit to a relationship but some dime a dozen pussy, headaches, and entitlement but want a man to worship the ground you walk on and scream the loudest when a man tries to “keep you in your place”. I can’t even roll my eyes hard enough.
  • Fellas, I’mma need y’all to have all of the seats if you are trying to argue that maybe Offset would have been faithful if Cardi had cooked and cleaned. Whether man or woman, it’s no fucking body else’s responsibility to ensure that you honor your vows but YOURS!! I don’t give a fuck what the other person is doing/not doing in the marriage, those vows are yours to maintain until invalidated by divorce. PERIOD. There is NO justification for infidelity. If the other person isn’t the one you wanna be with any more then gotdamet pack your donkey and leave. Stop being a selfish fucking coward and go find your happy place elsewhere and leave the other person’s dignity intact.

A lot of men wanted to paint Offset as a victim in this situation and let me tell you, I had to just woosah my way out of saying some really ugly shit on several Facebook posts because of it. But this right here is my shit so let’s get ugly shall we?!

The argument they seemed to be trying to make is that if Cardi was doing Offset the way she should have been doing him or if she wasn’t so “ratchet”, loud, and “ghetto” then he wouldn’t have stepped out on her. My responses to all of those statements:
1. Fuck all of that!! People need to take personal responsibility for doing the fucked up shit they do and not blame the damn victim!
2. Who the fuck did he think he was marrying?? Cardi B. has never changed. She’s been the same way since she came on to the scene so if he was scared he shoulda took his ass to church. She wasn’t too much when he was filmed eating her out in the VIP section of a club and laughing about it a few years ago.
3. … have y’all seen Offset?? It ain’t like he’s the wall street type his damn self. Stop it!
4. Like I said above, there’s no excuse for infidelity. Just like the post above says, I don’t care what anyone says, being faithful is not hard. If he had issues with her, if there were things he needed from her that she wasn’t giving him, then instead of cheating, he should have acted like a grown man and spoken to her about those things. That’s what adults in adult relationships do. They talk. They discuss shit and try to fix it. If after talking she didn’t fix it then he SHOULD HAVE LEFT instead of breaking his marriage vows!!

I’d love to know what your thoughts are on these topics. Feel free to comment below and share!

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